A helping hand

I cannot give you a formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure – which is: Try to please everybody ~ Herbert Bayard Swope

Growing up, I was always under the impression that I had to please others before I pleased myself. I would worry endlessly about having people by my side. I worried way too much about helping everyone in the family. I’m a naturally giving person when it comes to my time, strength and finances. This has always been a part of me. It was always hard to say no to someone when asked for help or even money. I could only say yes, the word “no” was not in my vocabulary.

There is nothing wrong with giving your time, strength or helping someone financially. This naturally is a good trait to possess. The problem with this trait is that someone may acknowledge your giving heart and use it against you for their own advantage. There are people that truly need our help, but sometimes we’re not that specific person for that certain situation and all we can do is support them in other ways. If we neglect ourselves always and give more than what we have, we are only sabotaging ourselves for failure and close the inner door of growth. Let me put this in another perspective;

You are a moving car. You give every person you see on the road free transportation to wherever they desire. You pick up so many people, there is no more room inside the car. The car is over filled with too much weight. You keep picking up people, taking them to their destination and picking up more people. You have forgotten to check your tire pressure, you have forgotten to change your oil to run your engine. Due to lack of maintenance, the car pops a tires and the engine stops running anymore. The car is now worthless and only good to be recycle into a new working car. There is no new beginning for that car.

Helping people is important, but to be the best helper, we must first help ourselves so we can be successful for us and the world around us. Help with what you can and always make sure that inner door is open for growth. It has taken me twenty-three years to figure out that it is perfectly fine to say no sometimes, especially when we are barely trying to fix our problems. I’m glad I understand this now. Before we can fix the world, we must fix ourselves. Our happiness will make others happy. A smile is contagious like a cold. A giving hand is contagious as well. When one does a small act of kindness that is easy to manage, others will replicate and it will make a difference. One cannot save the world except for themselves. If everyone unites, then the world can be saved. Do what we can, but never lose our soul and self care while in the process. You matter too.