My conclusion

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I’m not even sure if anyone reads my blog anymore. I question if it’s really that interesting for the reader. Would the reader like to provide his or her feelings about what I write? I don’t know, but certainly know I could improve this website and only cover topics that the reader finds relevant to his or her life. I can only talk about goals and affirmations for only so much. I may be full of many questions about my website and what will keep people on here engaging, but I do have some answers for myself and the purpose of me focusing so much on affirmations.

Not going to fool anyone that I always had everything figured out all of my life, I was very lost over a year ago. I did not know where I was heading and did not even acknowledge that I was making some bad decisions in my life. I can even go far as to say that I did not give a flying f*ck because I didn’t think I could reach for the stars. I only believed in having a comfortable job where I could eat, sleep and sh*t. Trying the unknown was the furthest thought away from my mind. I only cared about the latest shows on Netflix, having beer stocked in my fridge and blowing my money on the most mindless things.

The path of not striving for something better was slowly leading me to a life full of stupid decisions, lots of heartbreak, and financial problems for myself. When I fell into the biggest hole of my life (rock bottom) I could of just easily given up and not done anything to improve my situation. I could’ve just laid around and moped in bed. I could have complained about all of my problems to friends and family. I could have searched for sympathy. I could have played the victim card. I could have become a depressed individual. I could have become many negative attributes in life, thank goodness the creator, the universe, and God looked out for me. I was introduced to affirmations and the law of attraction.

There was a basic book called “Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life: How to Unlock Your Full Potential for Success and Achievement” by Brian Tracy. My original self would probably just walk passed it at the local Barnes n’ noble and not think a second of the book. After a wreck that could’ve been deadly and beings thousands of dollars in debt, my mind was wandering into desperation. It hated being in constant torment and hell, there needed to be a solution, and FAST! My spirit began to hate the way my life turned out from my foolish, stupid, and dumb decisions. I took the advice to read the book which I normally wouldn’t have. This book exposed me, it made me realize that the greatest enemy that can be around was my own self. I was self-sabotaging myself, by not reaching for the sky, by not thinking that I would ever be wealthy, by not thinking I would achieve something amazing, by not thinking I would travel and explore something wonderful and amazing. I learned that I was constantly thinking about the negative things in my life. I was always stressed about getting in car accidents, not making money, being lied to, meeting the wrong woman, and making dumb decisions. There is a concept called “Murphy’s law”. According to Wikipedia, it can simply be explained as ” . . . ‘Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.'” Constantly believing this way I only brought a law into fruition known as the law of attraction. Thinking about the negative aspects of life only manifested and attracted it even more. I needed to change the way I think.

Changing the way I thought and how I interpreted the world made my life a lot easier. I’m not saying that I never had bad days, but I am saying that I had a lot fewer of them. Think of the problems as a non-reduced fraction. Thinking positively and allowing affirmations to form in my mind and written on paper mitigated those bad days and allowed me to conquer my obstacles and look at life more as a school that is purifying me to a higher realization. In the last year, I have overcome some dark periods of my time. I have let go of many things and I have exchanged the negative/slave mentality for the passion/wealth mentality. I no longer want to live like nothing matters. I want to live like something matters. No one needs to tell me what matters, I need to figure that out. There are a few things I’m still doing my best to pursue. I have tasted this journey for my passions, and some of it has come to fruition. I have discovered my desires and I want to keep digging for more of my desires. It doesn’t matter if the shovel is rusty and dirty, I want to keep on digging until I’m seeing lots and lots of gold.

Everyone has their own type of battle in life, but I can say that you’re not alone. Lots of people are going through hardships, especially in the middle of this recession. Keep on fighting and always trust yourself. Say no to Murphy’s law (self-sabotage), say no to imposter syndrome, say no to toxic people, say no to negative thoughts and do your best to abolish them all. Some forms of negativity will make it through our mind, but now it will be pretty much powerless, only reminding you of what you have accomplished so far. Negativity will now just be a reminder of the positivity and how you have grown so much in life. Don’t think someone is out to destroy you, only you can do that. Fight yourself to become a better version every day. It feels like every day we crucify ourselves, only to resurrect and improve.

I will be taking a break from this subject, but just wanted to discuss how it all started with this blog and my need to preach the law of attraction. I will be transitioning to discussing more of my life and short stories both non-fiction and fiction. To the very few that have been here since the origins of my website, I want to thank you for pushing me to keep writing. I trust you will enjoy my stories and please do comment your thoughts on everything I post. My goal is to improve as a writer. I love you all!

Stay tuned for many short stories in the making!

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From Gucci to Pentecostal

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“Gucci on my shirt. . .” I’m listening to Mike Will Made it. No idea why I’m listening to the song, but I have a random playlist playing at the moment. Normally I’m not a big fan of this particular song, but at the moment it’s a little bit catchy. I mean, wouldn’t it be nice in wearing some Gucci brand clothing? I honestly don’t care as much about the brand as others, but when I have the spare money, I’ll flex the brand just for the hell of it. I’ll be wearing it and telling my readers, “Gucci, Gucci, pucci. Keep reading until your mind is done cleaning!” Maybe I can partner up with Gucci one day and have them promote my slogan on their clothing brand. I wasn’t going to post anything on my blog tonight, but because of one person online, begging me to write something this late tonight, I have made the decision to write something for my readers.

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I grew up in the Russian/Slavic Pentecostal Church as a child. Most of the people going there were of Russian, Ukrainian, Belorussian, Bulgarian, and Slavic descent. This wasn’t your typical one-hour service type of church where you could dance and listen to contemporary style music. There we weren’t allowed to have any type of electrical instruments or the drums. Dancing was completely forbidden and compared as being possessed by demons and dancing with them in the spiritual realm. Only old hymns were allowed to be song and listened to during the service. Music mostly consisted of a choir and someone who would play the piano, or violin. As for outside of church, I wasn’t allowed to listen to anything but christian music. I tried to follow the rules, but being me, I liked all kinds of music as a child, especially rap and pop. I had two memory cards for my MP3. One of the cards was filled with christian music and the other was a secret memory card that my parents had no knowledge of. When they weren’t around, or when it was night time, I would listen to my “worldly” music. Back to the Pentecostal church, It was a 2-3 hour service, where it consisted of 5 different sermons, endless praying, and lots of outdated music. Eventually I started sneaking my iPod touch 4th generation in the year of 2012. My dad wouldn’t allow us to bring candy or any type of snack to the service. My dad was the Sunday school director at the church as well as a preacher there, so he tried his best to show that his kids were well behaved and mannered. At the church, there was a kid who really liked playing video-games, but his mother wouldn’t allow him to bring any of his games to church. This wasn’t any kid. He was the son of the secretary of the church. He had access to the church candy cabinet for Sunday school through his mother. He kept begging to play my Ipod touch during the service and then it dawned on me. I provided him a proposition; I would allow him to play if he would sneak candy out of the church candy cabinet. We negotiated and he agreed. I would let him play my Ipod during the service and he would provide me with an unlimited supply of candy. This agreement lasted for several months until his parents decided to leave the church. Church for the first time was a little bit enjoyable for about a year. It’s funny how something great ceases to exist, but I enjoyed it while it lasted.

If you would like to hear more about my time in the Pentecostal church as a child, I would gladly cover many more blog entries about this particular topic. Please comment your questions below, and I will gladly write about my experiences in being part of the Pentecostal cult on future posts. As always, please share my blog everywhere you can. The more people we have visiting here, the bigger our community will expand.

Love you all 🙂

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Spirit of youth and peace

The last few days have been silent. Lots of thinking and lots of writing. There are some people I am happy to no longer contact or associate with. Times of struggle will show us who is by our side. Not many of our friends or loved ones will still be standing around us, and that’s okay. We shouldn’t be naive that a family member or friend will be there in time of struggle. Our will and spirit will only keep us persevering in achieving our goals. Once we have momentum, we need to just keep rolling forward and let our spirit guide us with our will giving us strength. When opportunity is presented and worth pursuing, it’s better to accept it. Most people are miserable inside and will try everything in their power to mislead you to not pursue opportunities and accept the drug known as “comfort”. Try to share less about your endeavors and goals with others at least not until you have completed them. I try and only share to like minded individuals about my plan in life. We may have some dark times ahead and that is only the universe testing us to see if we still want what we visualize in our minds. Keep visualizing what you aspire in your mind, look away from the nightmare in the back.

Not going to lie, I went out to a bar and grill. I got super bored writing in silence and needed some type of background noise. On the bright side, I had some good food, and met a few neat people. I felt like participating in karaoke near the middle of the night after writing a couple of scenes for my screenplay. I ended up singing one song by Usher and one song by Akon- the two songs brought back nostalgia of when I was still in middle school and how I would play these type of songs from my mp3 player for a girl named, Kaycee. I remember not having too many friends in middle school, except for a good few. Kaycee lived in the same neighborhood as I, and we had a few of the same teachers for some our classes such as English, math and science. I remember how her and I both hated our English/Literature teacher, Mrs. Hennenberg. We both called her the b**** of the school. Sorry Mrs. Henneberg, we were two kids that hated school and homework. You’re not a b**** anymore. I believe it was the summer of 2010 that I developed a strong crush for her (Kaycee). I recall telling her about my feelings towards her. Before anything could go further, we both moved. I moved to another neighborhood while she moved to Arizona. We never met each other in person again. I did try to message her several years later when we accidentally found each other on Facebook. She was already settled with a boyfriend, and developed a deep interest for horror movies, so we had something to talk about for a while, until I started dating a toxic girlfriend who coerced me to delete my Facebook, losing a lot of my childhood friends and acquaintances.

I haven’t thought about this in years, but it’s intriguing how our mind can associate a song or a movie with someone we knew in the past, making us remember them and imagine all of the what ifs. Memory lane is a neat feature we have in our minds, it teaches us that we were especially full of more spirit when we were children. Where did that spirit of youth go? It’s still there, but society has molded it into something opposite of it. Society wants us to be adults who only know how to be a bunch of yes man full of depression. We need to take back our power that we once possessed, to question and to fine joy and opportunity in the simplest moments in life. Evidently lets be adults but be energetic inside like we once were. I’ve noticed it sometimes can have something to do with having distractions around. If these distractions are putting us down and not allowing us to progress, then we need to either find a way to mitigate or eliminate the distraction that is keeping us away from the spirit of youth. I personally had to delete tiktok and a couple of social media apps since they were draining my energy and creativity. There’s nothing wrong with using these applications, but moderation and breaks must be enforced for ourselves. Time is worth more than money.

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Singing at the bar brought that spirit of youth back and people around my age began to dance with me like it was 2010 again. Unity through music was witnessed that night. Not one fight or argument was witnessed. The spirit of youth filled us and made us energetic, and the spirit of peace made us all sing and dance together like a bunch of teenagers on the last day of school. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this on here or not, but every once in a while I dabble with writing lyrics for music. I want to ultimately write lyrics that resonate with the early 2000s. At the moment, a friend of mine is helping me with producing the sound for it. I cannot wait to sing my lyrics with the sound he is designing. I heard his samples, and they sound promising. This will be a new sphere for me as a writer. I want to put my writing abilities to the test and enlighten myself on what I need to improve on.

May I make a suggestion, especially if you’re having a bad day? I’m going to make it anyways. Go out and do karaoke whether it be at a bar, at a friend’s house, home, or online. Just do it! You will feel more alive and ideas will flow out of your mind. For the sake of therapy or harmony within, I urge you to sing for yourself. Be a kid and sing something from your youth.

As always please be sure to share this article especially if it benefited you in any way! I love you guys and I love my haters.

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One sweaty hell of a night

Before thoughts start to wander, I can assure anyone reading this that I am not about to discuss anything about sex or foreplay. I’m not saying that we’ll ever not discuss, but just not tonight. In my case, I just came from a run and my shirt is soaked with all of my sweat. I drank a little bit more of water and coffee than usual. I can’t judge, and what I have to say is that you all have a wild imagination and should channel that imagination in any method you choose to do so. If anyone tries and paints a portrait of me in any setting, I will feature it in my blog. I just love creative people and like seeing what their minds can manifest and construct into reality even if it’s a bit controversial. Controversial is my best friend. Comfort is the enemy of the mind and spirit.

I have been pushing myself to run and walk more, and once I have more money, I definitely would like to get myself a gym membership and possibly get myself into lifting weights. For now, I’m more focused on losing the extra weight I have. The journey is amazing so far. Having the focus to do what my mind desires is already forming a picture in my physical reality. We’ve been taught the wrong way all these years to achieve our ambitions. We’ve been pushed with the notion to look on the outside to find a way to solve a problem when seldom has anyone ever brought to our attention that the key to unlock great potential is within. All the greatest speakers in the world have one big thing in common; the master key. They had all placed trust in the world and the system, relying on meaningless dogma taught from the beginning of their lives. At some point they realized what they were relying on, wasn’t doing anything beneficial for them. In fact, relying on the system was doing more detrimental damage to their personalities and visions. When everything failed, when everything was lost, all that was left was only them. Why is this so significant? The significance is that they learned to talk to themselves and purify the filth inside, and start to build a new kingdom based on their voice of the inside and not the voices in the exterior world. Forming a world within based on a vision duplicated itself into the physical world when the season arrived.

When you have some spare time, perhaps even right now, try and visualize a portrate you’re familiar with or a family picture. Can you see it? If you can, then try and look deep inside your mind and think what will help you move forward in this life. As soon as you have discovered what you are searching for, visualize achieving this void already filled, the chaos ending and order brought forth. Continue to do this whenever you have some free time. Within time and the universe inside you, your greatest goal will manifest. Have faith, for it is the substance of materials hoped for and no substantiating evidence conveyed to the naked eye. Think less of the problem, and focus more on the solution. The solution will replace the problem. All the old things that brought pain will fade away, and a great awakening and abundant life will appear.

This was on my heart today and I felt the need to share. I hope and wish that my article brings some clarification into your life. Feel free to share your thoughts below. I am always looking forward to having discussions especially about these types of conversations. I love all of you guys, keep growing and strive for a positive life.

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My first screen play submission update.

I’m jacked up on caffeine (coffee with agave syrup and chia seeds) and just got back from an hour run. My body may be sore, but I’ve got the case of the “runner’s high”. Doing all these walks and runs every night as a routine for the last few months has reduced my waist than before. I’m not as bloated ever since I cut off some certain foods and drinks. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll have a cheeseburger here and then. I just try to do something physically expedient for my body. It’s not only me though, I have my brother, Arthur, who keeps me in check to the best of his ability. Accountability to someone can be a booster to achieve a certain goal. I’m not saying we need help to achieve a goal, but it doesn’t hurt if someone similar to your mindset is willing to help. I definitely wouldn’t ask help from toxic people, or someone that will rub it off on you. Definitely please don’t do that.

In other news, I have an announcement! I finally received my feedback for my TV pilot that I wrote. I have some work to get stronger with my dialogue, scene transitions (getting too descriptive with some scenes), but overall they loved the concept and see potential with my writing. With a few tweaks and some refining, my screenplay potentially may be on television. The feedback is honest and fair; I’m pleased to have some professional writers review my work. As for the results, I’ll find out around the month of October if I got the contract and when it all begins. In the meantime, I’m working on my other screenplay for a horror film, but will start editing my pilot script soon. Thank you to all who have supported me in my journey of becoming a professional writer and actor.

As for my blog, I had my first donation and I wanted to thank my subscriber, Dan, for supporting me. It truly means a lot little bro. Dan and I go back a long time ago, even though we live over 2,000 miles away, I still consider him a real homie. Having one of my good, old friends be the first supporter of my website, brings joy in my heart. One little seed is bringing bigger things around me. A lot more people around the entire world have given their time to explore my blog and share my content across many platforms. I want to thank all of you for the love and sharing of my content.

I will keep updating on my blog as more things unfold. All I can say for now is that never give up on your vision. Allow what you visualize in your mind to manifest into reality. Vision and affirmations work. Speak words of fruition into your life. Always talk to your spirit. Stay blessed my readers and fans. I love you all.

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Listen to your Spirit

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It’s been over a year since I launched my blog, so much has changed in my life. I have put myself in positions I probably wouldn’t have before due to self-doubt and fear. From trying out the most random jobs to playing in a short film to traveling Europe to submitting my first screen play for a TV show pilot contract competition. I have experienced more than my old self would ever assume possible. The key is having a mindset that is there to build us up and to listen to our spirit, and take its guidance for our success. An adventure might seem time consuming, or overwhelming, but don’t let that stop you from trying. I promise the regret will hurt far more.

I by no means am trying to boast about my adventures, but I would like to use my experiences to open your eyes to not be afraid as well as motivate to do the unexpected. Don’t listen to me, but listen to your inner voice that’s been trying to speak to your mind, but because of the way your mind was molded growing up, you have locked this beautiful voice in the cell. Find the key, and unlock this angelic voice (spirit) and ask for it to motivate your tongue to utter words of blessings in your life. I promise that once you begin to speak positive words in your life, you will want to stop living a fake reality and in lieu pursue what your spirit desires.

I started working as a manager at a restaurant a couple of months ago. At first it was enjoyable and bearable to work there. I got to learn how to bake, prep, make milkshakes, and manage the restaurant. The only problem was that we had a couple of toxic people above me who would talk down to me and my coworkers, making sexist and demeaning comments. They would also not allow people to take bathroom breaks and when one of the girls asked to take a bathroom break, the other manager even went to rudely say to her, “Not until your coworker f$cking picks up the pace”. What’s super bizarre is that this particular coworker does a wonderful job when it comes to working in the front. I haven’t seen a negative environment such as this since I stopped working for BMW. I even had my hours cut from 40-30, a week with them still expecting me to produce more results when I was being forced to finish my tasks earlier. For a while I just kept my mouth shut since I had and still have certain bills to pay, but one day my spirit/intuition just told me to quit. Ironically this happened on the day when my boss called for me to her office. I close the door behind me, and she goes on to say that I have not been progressing as a manager. I brought up to her that she said the complete opposite the week before and how she is often contradicting herself about the expectations at work. I also brought up that my hours have been cut down and that the raise I was promised never had occurred. She went on to accuse me of being frustrated at work and not doing my job. Right at that moment, my spirit reassured me that it was time to leave this job position. “I quit!”, I screamed. She responds, “That’s what I thought”. I clock myself out and never look back.

Some may think that it was foolish of me to just drop a position like I did and that’s alright with me. I am not living to impress others or my peers. I am only living to compete with myself. I would rather struggle while doing everything I can to pursue my dream of being a writer/actor and ultimately reaching it than to just have a few extra dollars with comfort not living to my potential. God made this world beautiful. He made me, and I will do everything in my power to manifest my words into reality. I am a handsome creation, and I will do everything I can to bring beauty out of my mind. The power is within me. The will is awake for I have turned it on. I refuse to settle on a few thousand dollars a month when I can exceed far beyond that. In the Hebrew the word Satan translates as “accuser and adversary”. Comfort and fear is our “Satan” when we go through our journey called life. Will we allow Satan to offer us a temporary deal of comfort, or will we stump over him and say no to this fancy crafted deal? I choose to abolish any idea of a deal. I choose to go on a road with potential beyond my imagination. When Christ fasted for forty days and forty nights, Satan (carnal mind) appeared to him and offered a temporary solution to his hunger by turning stones into loaves of bread. This can be found in the gospel of Matthew chapter 4. I believe this is allegory for listening to our voice instead of the voice of our accusers. Literally anyone who mocks our vision are our accusers. Remember that the light is within us and to allow it to shine. We are the children of God and mother earth. Everything is already given to us inside, we must just learn to obey the wishes of our spirit. When we accept this, the accuser becomes weaker and ultimately rots away from our mind. Learn to read your manual not the manual of negotiators.

I love you all and wish all of you the greatest excellence in your life.

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Improvements

Going through the memory card of my Lumix, I’ve realized that I don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to filming my adventures. Either I improve on my filming or get someone to travel with me. Does this mean I’m done with filming? Not at all. I just know that I’m prepared to receive criticism over how I film. The criticism doesn’t really bother me. I’ll keep sharing and ultimately my video skills will improve. My point is, there is something we can work on. It might look like sh%t, but within time that pile of sh%t will be cleaned up. Let the critics and haters keep doing their thing. Don’t waste your time explaining yourself. I’m going to keep learning about properly filming and operating a camera. I might not learn everything, but I will make connections that will help me succeed. It’s like that saying we all have heard, “Team work makes the dream work”. At the moment, I’m going through all of my videos and organizing them. They may not be the most superb, but they all show something that the viewer may not have had the opportunity to see. I want to share what I have with others. Videos are an excellent method to organize this.

I learned this over the last couple of years from a few wealthy friends of mine, you have to learn how to network with people. They might not be someone you might need help from at the moment, but a day might come when you need their advice or assistance. I promise you that an acquaintance is more willing to help you than a stranger on the block or online. Building rapport with people and keeping contact every once in a while will help you secure a relationship that could potentially help you succeed, or even the both of you. Also you might possess some skills that can help someone else with their personal goal in life. What goes around, comes around. Help someone out, or provide advice, the same will be returned to you. The best thing is to be solution oriented. Not just for ourselves, but for our surroundings.

It has been a pleasure writing my post today. May everything you aspire to do come into manifestation. I love you all. Stay positive.

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Tired of sitting in your room?

Isn’t it crazy how when we take the time to think in silence, our mind starts to wonder into some geographical destination? Perhaps it’s just me and a few people. But regardless, I sense we all have wanted to travel somewhere intriguing at least once in our lives. For the past two years, I was constantly telling myself and others that I would travel to Europe. But when? Was I just mumbling empty words? To stabilize what I wanted in life, I set up a list of affirmations and goals for myself. After New Years, I completed writing down what I wanted for 2022. Within months I found myself a couple of decent jobs to help finance at least half of my trip and the rest I financed with credit which I’ll be paying all back real soon. There is always a way, if we desire to find a way. If a though enters our mind more than a hundred times, then we should just find a way to make it happen. I’m not saying to go into debt. But if the debt is manageable, then why not? We won’t always be 20, 25, or 40. The time is now or soon as possible. Even after my trip to four different countries in Europe (Poland, Germany, Bulgaria and North Macedonia), I still desire to travel and explore almost every country multiple times. It’s just something that ignites my spirit inside.

Update: My biggest focus has been on my novel. Also I plan on releasing some videos from Europe on to YouTube in the coming weeks. On my next blog post I will share my YouTube account with all of my readers. Remember, always stay positive and believe in yourself! Xoxo

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I’m in Berlin

At the moment, I’m in Berlin, Germany. This is my second day in Germany. Prior to this, I visited my friend Svetlana in Poznan, Poland. Poland in my opinion, is full of very positive, helpful, family oriented people. I can’t complain. I can even sort of understand them since Polish is similar to Ukrainian and Russian.

I’ve learned that us Americans have the world completely wrong. Other countries aren’t there to hurt Americans. In fact, I have been treated so well, even though I do not speak their language all that well. In America, true friendships and sincere conversations are seldom. I’ve learned that you can be a friend to pretty much anyone in Europe as long as you’re respectful and a positive person.

Today, I met a random stranger from Austria who works as a supervisor for a computer corporation. He shared everything he knew about Berlin to me. We talked for hours and he even bought a few rounds of beer for us. I tried to pay him back, but he insisted that he didn’t want my money but he valued our conversations. I ended up getting his contact information and therefore now have a connection for someone that lives in Austria. The next time I decide to visit Austria, I have someone to meet. He is not the only person like this. I’ll share another example, I met a Ukrainian in Poland who works as a taxi driver. He valued our conversations and time. Hours later, he messaged me that he would give me a free ride when I come back to Poland next week.

Ill wr

E