Drawing for the soul

It’s near midnight here in South Carolina, and I’m listening to kundalini activation music. It’s been a miraculous experience listening to the vibrations. I can feel my aura being purified. A lot of the negative things in my life are floating away, they are just memories now. The more I meditate and listen to these vibrations, the more I feel free inside. I’ve had a few miracles happen these last two months in my life. My thoughts are slowly manifesting into reality and law of attraction is surreal. I always believed in the the law of attraction, but it is happening more often than ever before. I’m like a disciple of the law of attraction and it’s a sensational feeling inside. I cannot explain it until someone starts meditating and loving themselves.

These last couple of weeks I have discovered that I enjoy drawing. It allows me to express whatever I’m thinking inside and in a way it is like a medium to what is about to manifest in my life. I’ve always written down affirmations, and that is vitally important. Drawing our affirmations can also have an even greater impact in our spiritual and physical self. Even if you’re not an artist, try and draw something to relax your mind. I’m definitely not a professional, but you and I could one day reach that status. Everything is a maze, if we decide to walk through it then we’ll complete another maze.

Here is a link to what I am meditating to at the moment. You can find other videos, but here’s something to start off with. You’ll start noticing a difference in your life. I often listen to this when I go to sleep and wake up in the morning.

Tomorrow I start my first day of my college semester. I had a recent realization to finish my associates of arts degree especially now that I qualify for financial aid. When I was younger, I dropped out because I could not afford it. After doing my research and making a few phone calls, I was able to transfer my credits from Washington state to South Carolina. I only have about 2 semesters to finish the degree and figure it may come to use when I work outside the country as an actor and screenwriter. I will keep you all updated about my classes (taking four classes).

As always thank you for supporting my blog and supporting me financially. You all are a blessing!

I’m blessed, I don’t care what you think.

I’m blessed that you’re reading this right now. I’m blessed that you have accessed my website in the first place. Thank you for visiting and taking the few minutes to hover around my website. I know it may not be a whole bunch of what you may have expected, but if you find something you can use, I’m more than grateful.

Many of you may have met me on Instagram, tiktok and telegram. Most of you are aware that I got banned multiple times recently on tik-tok. I am still attempting to figure out what I have violated in regards to their app. I have been following their guidelines closely, and am certain that there is some flaw in their monitoring. Either way, I’m glad that you are here. Most of my updates in life can be seen here or my Instagram account: zealouspursuit3000. I will do what I can to keep my conversations going with all of my fans.

Most of 2022 and this year, I have not been sick, thank God. I have realized that meditation and drinking a lot of water have kept me well. These simple two things have brought serenity into my mind. Not reacting to stressful situations immediately have benefited me more than ever. Meditation unlocks us to think rational and reasonable without allowing anger, or fear to influence us.

I understand that on a daily basis we have to make hard decisions on short notice, but take it all calmly, breathe a little bit, change the subject for a few minutes, refresh your mind, and hydrate a little. Close those eyes, and picture the situation and visualize yourself finding the solution. It’s not if you will find the solution, it has more do with how you will find it. If you can’t find it, tell yourself that you will. Keep repeating the phrases, “I will figure this out. The answers are within.”. Keep knocking inside, the answers will unleash themselves once the door is open.

I want to be in the moment. I want to visualize my future squaring away. I don’t want anyone, or anything altering the state of my mind. I am in the now. Tik-tok will not discourage me from talking about manifestation and being the winner of my dreams.

~M.K

2023 make me free

First day of the year- I’m not where I want to be yet. So much I could’ve accomplished in 2022, but what happened had to go this way.

2023 will be a transformational year for me. I choose to become better and aim for the unseen. Words have power. Law of attraction is in session.

Will be like an elite soon enough. Hollywood and the entertainment industry will be in awe. Although I could care less what they think.

United 50 Corporations

Dear God,

I no longer want to be fuel for the fifty machines of the USA. I am grateful for the opportunities and experiences in this corporation. I have come to realize that I no longer feel truly free in a country that controls my movement and tells me how to live my life, or where to spend my money.

I thought the pacific northwest was godless and had no future for me. I am noticing that both the north and south have their pros and cons. Regardless of the politics, or if I agree, or do not agree, I do not possess true liberty here as promised in the constitution. The constitution is an amazing document that only confirms our god given rights, but unfortunately the united states does not see it that way as the founding fathers once did.

I know that the machine will milk me as much as it wishes, but I choose now to eventually leave this empire. It isn’t for me and more power to whoever chooses to stay. I would rather own a home or apartment elsewhere than have the u.s government take it away from me as it sees it fit.

I truly believe that you want us all to be happy inside us and have our place of serenity. I pray to be one of the best screenplay writer and actor of the century. I pray that I become financially independent and wise with my investments. I pray that I live in a country(s) of serenity.

May I have a woman with the purest intentions and that is inspired by my journey of being broke to becoming a sensation of a lifetime.

Best regards,

~Maxwell Aleksandr Kostenyuk

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I must make a confession, we are living through a recession.

Oh good! I spelled recession right. I’m alive and well, just going through some financial hardship, occasionally job hopping. Many of the jobs in the south pay very poorly and even if one possesses a basic AA degree, the raise is only a couple dollars more. I’ve known this factually especially when I still lived up north, but seeing it first hand just shows that many things must change for humans in the south to see a workable wage.

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It’s funny to me that supervisors have an impression that if they raise the wage by 60 cents an hour, I will work harder. I promise I will not work harder especially if I’m treated like a pile of manure, with no breaks and hardly any employee rights. The cost of living has gone up at an exponential level beyond the pay we are making. I understand how inflation works, but not a 100-200 percent increase on a product, or service. The south is full of people that do not want any improvement of conditions from what I have observed. Excuses and excuses out of their mouths. They make fun of countries such as Mexico, yet they have created conditions similar to a third world country.

I’ve actually been to a couple of third-world countries, yet they still have a form of hospitality and culture in them. I felt like I belonged more. In the south, I am seen as an outsider. Most, not all evidently, just do not want anything to do with us from the north. The only times they want anything to do with us is when they can overcharge us on their products and services.

Aside from all the struggles that I’ve been going through, I have done my ultimate best to continue my acting and screenplay writing ambitions. I have had the opportunity in being in a few short films this years and writing a few screenplays. I am grateful for all of this and understand that I would not have done any of this if I hadn’t moved down to the south. There are some pluses in moving down to the south. I have found what I want. I may be in a shit-hole but I’m in a shit hole full of opportunities, being the fact that I live about 3 hours away from Atlanta.

As for next year, I want to be a part of a future length film. I’m excited to see what films I will be a part of in screenwriting and writing. I want to do other things that I choose to not mention just yet. What we speak about ourselves is what we will become. You have this power. The creator of the universe has granted it to you.

Even through these times, we can choose to see a light. Lets try to stare away from the darkness. Yes, it is there. But don’t let it define you.

You all have an amazing holiday!

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My 100th Post!

Already at 100 posts?

Yep- I’ve finally reached this milestone! Now I must aim for 500 posts. Will I get to 500 in 2023? I will give it a try. Depending on what projects I have for the following year, I will do my best to produce content on here that is fresh and productive to the mind.

I want to be the story teller that I’ve recently promised my readers that I would strive to be. I may pop into different spheres of topics. Self improvement has always been something that I e enjoyed studying as I have so many flaws and every once in a while I feel like a hypocrite. I’ve got all this advice, but sometimes I do the opposite. Or could I have some ego? This is all something I’m working on.

A hero is born among a hundred, a wise man is found among a thousand, but an accomplished one might not be found even among a hundred thousand men. ~Plato

Being accomplished isn’t something that 90 percent of the population will ever reach. This explains the difficulty of wanting to accomplish a particular goal, we often get distracted, fall over, or lose interest. We need to visualize the word accomplishment imprinted on our foreheads. It isn’t easy, but necessary to meditate on these thoughts.

Don’t beat yourself up. Another day is tomorrow. Today is a test we take. If we fail, we re-take it tomorrow.

Plato

Bumpy roads

The one thing I would change about South Carolina is the roads. Not only would I widen the lanes, I would have them refill all the potholes that have existed for decades, and I would make the roads more straight and less loopy. Every time I’m on the road, I get dizzy and sometimes feel the need to vomit. If you’re new to South Carolina, I encourage you to have a plastic bag in your car in case of an emergency. One loopy turn can trigger you to throw up.

2022 was an unexpected year, I never thought I would get into debt so quickly. But due to losing my job, a couple unforeseen emergencies, and unwise spending habits that I didn’t think were so unwise, I’ve fallen back into debt status. This is nothing to brag about nor take pride in. My goal is to pay it all off as soon as possible. I finally started a new job that guarantees forty hours a week plus overtime which will help me settle some of my debt. But also at the same time, I’m trying to sell some land that I owe in Arizona that I no longer have interest in keeping. Flipping retro items was profitable at one point in time for me, but I need to find a new strategy/side hustle for my free time.

Not going to fool anyone, I definitely don’t like working at all. Anything that resembles itself as slavery, I normally hold against as I’ve mentioned before that I like being my own boss. Desperate times sometimes require desperate measures. For now, I’ll work my ass off. I know the power of self belief, perseverance, passion, manifestation and the creator, I will overcome this new obstacle in this time. I can complain about being in debt during the middle of a recession, or I can attract an energy that will allow me to conquer this financial battle I am undergoing.

Words have power. Self belief has power. I want to motivate whoever else is struggling financially or with something else, you can do it. Don’t be embarrassed we all fall through the pit occasionally, we just need to channel ourselves out of the pit.

No matter who you are, believe in yourself and change the words you use to describe yourself.

Blessings and love to you all!

Whoever that has been supporting my website and me, thank you so much! You are contributing in making me a better spirit to become an example for society and to help others to reach their ultimate-self.

Halloween is upon us.

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Almost Halloween already. Some are already freaking out about it through fear or excitement. Doesn’t matter in the end how people react to it, it’s just a man-made holiday. People choose which pill to take for this particular holiday. I don’t pay much attention to it unless it involves writing a screenplay or playing in a movie about Halloween. I want to make money and travel the world. All these regular holidays bore me to death. When I say holidays, I refer to American holidays. They’re way too cliche for me. For people outside of the usa, they’re infatuated with these American holidays. I understand that, they’ve never experienced it before. They definitely should. I just need to see something different every few months. I can’t stay in one spot for too long. I ask the creator and the spirit of light to bring me to the top of the mountain. I’m sick of being in the same, old desert. May I travel the world and see so much that I have never seen before. May I experience different cultures and perspectives. I want to grow as a human being and spirit and of course financially. I want to make a difference and help people that I come across my journey called life.

I wish you all of the blessings you deserve! Don’t deny it upon you. Ask and you will receive. Words have power. Claim them!

I want to share another short story of being a child in a strict Pentecostal household. I must’ve been in either kindergarten or first grade, so it was either 2003 or 2004 when Yugioh and Pokémon were soaring in the USA through the tv show, video games and trading cards. Everyone in my classroom pretty much all had trading cards. I started learning about these games through my classmates. The more I watched them play during recess, the more I desired to get myself a deck of cards for myself. It had a weird dopamine effect just by looking at the many illustrations in the card game.

After some thinking and learning more about Yugioh and Pokémon, I asked my mom to buy me a couple packs of cards when my mom took me and my aunt to Walmart. Mom didn’t know what it really was, so she ended up buying me the cards. I was the happiest kid in the parking lot looking through the many cards I had in my possession. I was already picturing future card matches during recess at school.

When I reached home from Walmart, my dreams of being a card player at recess were about to be shattered. I was showing my uncle the cards my mom had purchased for me. My dad sees me showing some cards. He grabs one of the cards, examines it and then rips it in half. “Dad, why? That’s my card.” My dad looks at me, “Yugioh is a demonic card game from hell. I can’t have you playing a devilish card game. They talked about this at church recently.” My dad takes the rest of my cards and lights them on fire near the trampoline in the backyard. I remember crying nonstop and locking myself in the bathroom. After this event, I would hide my cards whenever I acquired a card from someone. Yugioh and Pokémon were demonic according to the Pentecostal church and some vision a girl in South America who overdosed on drugs and had her supposed near death experience in hell. I never truly believed this, something about these belief systems never made sense. I believe in God, the spiritual creator, or however you want to label him or her, but the doctrines of the Pentecostal church never stuck in my mind. I would like to say I had some type of spiritual discernment. Something just felt off. Maybe us kids can sense something is wrong, but then slowly those feelings are brushed off through years of brainwash.

I still to this day get a weird feeling about those moments in my life. Those moments have taught me that people can be delusional through religion, politics and current world affairs. Many yearn for a leader, or a Shepard, from being afraid of thinking. Am I saying we should be out to expose them. For some people, they may. I choose not to. There are better things I can do with my time. Some will choose to keep their eyes closed and some will open them up and question their surroundings of life.

Peace and love to all of my readers!

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My conclusion

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I’m not even sure if anyone reads my blog anymore. I question if it’s really that interesting for the reader. Would the reader like to provide his or her feelings about what I write? I don’t know, but certainly know I could improve this website and only cover topics that the reader finds relevant to his or her life. I can only talk about goals and affirmations for only so much. I may be full of many questions about my website and what will keep people on here engaging, but I do have some answers for myself and the purpose of me focusing so much on affirmations.

Not going to fool anyone that I always had everything figured out all of my life, I was very lost over a year ago. I did not know where I was heading and did not even acknowledge that I was making some bad decisions in my life. I can even go far as to say that I did not give a flying f*ck because I didn’t think I could reach for the stars. I only believed in having a comfortable job where I could eat, sleep and sh*t. Trying the unknown was the furthest thought away from my mind. I only cared about the latest shows on Netflix, having beer stocked in my fridge and blowing my money on the most mindless things.

The path of not striving for something better was slowly leading me to a life full of stupid decisions, lots of heartbreak, and financial problems for myself. When I fell into the biggest hole of my life (rock bottom) I could of just easily given up and not done anything to improve my situation. I could’ve just laid around and moped in bed. I could have complained about all of my problems to friends and family. I could have searched for sympathy. I could have played the victim card. I could have become a depressed individual. I could have become many negative attributes in life, thank goodness the creator, the universe, and God looked out for me. I was introduced to affirmations and the law of attraction.

There was a basic book called “Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life: How to Unlock Your Full Potential for Success and Achievement” by Brian Tracy. My original self would probably just walk passed it at the local Barnes n’ noble and not think a second of the book. After a wreck that could’ve been deadly and beings thousands of dollars in debt, my mind was wandering into desperation. It hated being in constant torment and hell, there needed to be a solution, and FAST! My spirit began to hate the way my life turned out from my foolish, stupid, and dumb decisions. I took the advice to read the book which I normally wouldn’t have. This book exposed me, it made me realize that the greatest enemy that can be around was my own self. I was self-sabotaging myself, by not reaching for the sky, by not thinking that I would ever be wealthy, by not thinking I would achieve something amazing, by not thinking I would travel and explore something wonderful and amazing. I learned that I was constantly thinking about the negative things in my life. I was always stressed about getting in car accidents, not making money, being lied to, meeting the wrong woman, and making dumb decisions. There is a concept called “Murphy’s law”. According to Wikipedia, it can simply be explained as ” . . . ‘Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.'” Constantly believing this way I only brought a law into fruition known as the law of attraction. Thinking about the negative aspects of life only manifested and attracted it even more. I needed to change the way I think.

Changing the way I thought and how I interpreted the world made my life a lot easier. I’m not saying that I never had bad days, but I am saying that I had a lot fewer of them. Think of the problems as a non-reduced fraction. Thinking positively and allowing affirmations to form in my mind and written on paper mitigated those bad days and allowed me to conquer my obstacles and look at life more as a school that is purifying me to a higher realization. In the last year, I have overcome some dark periods of my time. I have let go of many things and I have exchanged the negative/slave mentality for the passion/wealth mentality. I no longer want to live like nothing matters. I want to live like something matters. No one needs to tell me what matters, I need to figure that out. There are a few things I’m still doing my best to pursue. I have tasted this journey for my passions, and some of it has come to fruition. I have discovered my desires and I want to keep digging for more of my desires. It doesn’t matter if the shovel is rusty and dirty, I want to keep on digging until I’m seeing lots and lots of gold.

Everyone has their own type of battle in life, but I can say that you’re not alone. Lots of people are going through hardships, especially in the middle of this recession. Keep on fighting and always trust yourself. Say no to Murphy’s law (self-sabotage), say no to imposter syndrome, say no to toxic people, say no to negative thoughts and do your best to abolish them all. Some forms of negativity will make it through our mind, but now it will be pretty much powerless, only reminding you of what you have accomplished so far. Negativity will now just be a reminder of the positivity and how you have grown so much in life. Don’t think someone is out to destroy you, only you can do that. Fight yourself to become a better version every day. It feels like every day we crucify ourselves, only to resurrect and improve.

I will be taking a break from this subject, but just wanted to discuss how it all started with this blog and my need to preach the law of attraction. I will be transitioning to discussing more of my life and short stories both non-fiction and fiction. To the very few that have been here since the origins of my website, I want to thank you for pushing me to keep writing. I trust you will enjoy my stories and please do comment your thoughts on everything I post. My goal is to improve as a writer. I love you all!

Stay tuned for many short stories in the making!

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From Gucci to Pentecostal

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“Gucci on my shirt. . .” I’m listening to Mike Will Made it. No idea why I’m listening to the song, but I have a random playlist playing at the moment. Normally I’m not a big fan of this particular song, but at the moment it’s a little bit catchy. I mean, wouldn’t it be nice in wearing some Gucci brand clothing? I honestly don’t care as much about the brand as others, but when I have the spare money, I’ll flex the brand just for the hell of it. I’ll be wearing it and telling my readers, “Gucci, Gucci, pucci. Keep reading until your mind is done cleaning!” Maybe I can partner up with Gucci one day and have them promote my slogan on their clothing brand. I wasn’t going to post anything on my blog tonight, but because of one person online, begging me to write something this late tonight, I have made the decision to write something for my readers.

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I grew up in the Russian/Slavic Pentecostal Church as a child. Most of the people going there were of Russian, Ukrainian, Belorussian, Bulgarian, and Slavic descent. This wasn’t your typical one-hour service type of church where you could dance and listen to contemporary style music. There we weren’t allowed to have any type of electrical instruments or the drums. Dancing was completely forbidden and compared as being possessed by demons and dancing with them in the spiritual realm. Only old hymns were allowed to be song and listened to during the service. Music mostly consisted of a choir and someone who would play the piano, or violin. As for outside of church, I wasn’t allowed to listen to anything but christian music. I tried to follow the rules, but being me, I liked all kinds of music as a child, especially rap and pop. I had two memory cards for my MP3. One of the cards was filled with christian music and the other was a secret memory card that my parents had no knowledge of. When they weren’t around, or when it was night time, I would listen to my “worldly” music. Back to the Pentecostal church, It was a 2-3 hour service, where it consisted of 5 different sermons, endless praying, and lots of outdated music. Eventually I started sneaking my iPod touch 4th generation in the year of 2012. My dad wouldn’t allow us to bring candy or any type of snack to the service. My dad was the Sunday school director at the church as well as a preacher there, so he tried his best to show that his kids were well behaved and mannered. At the church, there was a kid who really liked playing video-games, but his mother wouldn’t allow him to bring any of his games to church. This wasn’t any kid. He was the son of the secretary of the church. He had access to the church candy cabinet for Sunday school through his mother. He kept begging to play my Ipod touch during the service and then it dawned on me. I provided him a proposition; I would allow him to play if he would sneak candy out of the church candy cabinet. We negotiated and he agreed. I would let him play my Ipod during the service and he would provide me with an unlimited supply of candy. This agreement lasted for several months until his parents decided to leave the church. Church for the first time was a little bit enjoyable for about a year. It’s funny how something great ceases to exist, but I enjoyed it while it lasted.

If you would like to hear more about my time in the Pentecostal church as a child, I would gladly cover many more blog entries about this particular topic. Please comment your questions below, and I will gladly write about my experiences in being part of the Pentecostal cult on future posts. As always, please share my blog everywhere you can. The more people we have visiting here, the bigger our community will expand.

Love you all 🙂

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